If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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