trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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