i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?