Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?