What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
