Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome