Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.