i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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