One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
People in love make me want to vomit
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
