Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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