There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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