i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
