She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it was like eating out sand paper
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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