What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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