Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
