Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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