why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize