4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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