Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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