this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize