u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
