I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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