you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
