Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
