Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize