Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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