I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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