So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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