Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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