Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Randomize