Only a mothe r could love this liver
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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