Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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