I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
