First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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