i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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