I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
