Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
