I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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