So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is it penis luge time yet?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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