I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
