You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
