kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
