was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
