I wish i was in the wii world.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
