I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
