We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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