Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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