You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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