Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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