Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
