i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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