Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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