I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
