All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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