pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He shit in the fireplace
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
