I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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