You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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