I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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