he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
