If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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