I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When are your genitals available?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
